Silver Lining September!

I continue to persist through my classes, which is especially helpful on weeks when we get a day off, such as this. Monday was Labor Day, and so I was able to spend the day with family and boyfriend, preparing for the week and moreover just enjoying some time to myself. Even when I did go to class this week, it really wasn't so bad. We played a board game in microbiology lab. However, in microbiology lecture, my teacher demanded that we use AI to create mnemonics and images related to those AI generated mnemonics to help us remember vocab terms. My group used AI immediately. How disappointing! I refused. This is the image I generated myself. I quite like it. And guess what, I still remember that Bordatella Bears Bring Burkholderia Little Leptothrix Nummy Nesseria Thiobacillus Tacos, so take that chatGPT.

I also noticed on my walk out of lab back to my car, that there's a small field of zinnias planted right outside the Health Science building. What a bright spot after a long day in class!

For meal prep this week, I decided to try something I found on tiktok. You mash half an avocado with some  greek yogurt, some raw garlic, and spices to your hearts content. I also finely diced cucumber and red onion to give a bit more oomph. Then you air fry some chickpeas with olive oil, salt, garlic powder, and I used italian seasoning (recipe said to use paprika.. I don't have it). Lastly, I airfryed 5-7 frozen meatballs until they were warmed through. Served with little pita bread slices to scoop up the avo mash mixture, and i also had some green olives and cherry tomatoes on the side. Really quite scrumptious, as long as your avocado hasn't gone bad (like the one I tried to use today, such a sad recreation of a previously fantastic meal).

Morgan and I are trying to condition our bodies a little bit so we can hike Mount Timpanogous next month, with brothers Jacob and Matthew, and hopefully cousins Jeffrey and Jonathan. We did 30 minutes on the stairmaster a couple times this week and it kicked my butt for real. SO sweaty! It feels so good to move your body though. At around the halfway mark each time, I thought to myself "maybe we only go for 20 minutes. I can't keep pushing much more." And then by the time I'd pushed through to 20 minutes, I was like "well I can't give up now." And we did the full 30! We typically lift weights at least 3 times a week, but adding a bit of cardio back in with stairmaster and zumba has me feeling great!

I've been trying to focus on making the best of the situations I am dealt in life. Here's a small example. I hate waking up for work in the morning. Don't we all? And because of this, I frequently wake up a bit late.. And sometimes I can get away with it, with skipping certain routine steps or delaying them (looking at you, office toothbrush. No one's got me like you do). But lately on the very last road I have to drive down to get to my office, they have a one lane each way road closed to a true one lane road, with portable stoplights. It takes forever. The stop makes me late every day on my way in, and feels brutal in the 5 pm sunlight. I hate it haha. But, on my way in lately, I've had the pleasure of being stopped right next to the last bit of farmland that hasn't sold out yet on this road. The grass is SO green in the morning sunlight, and sometimes if I'm lucky, there's a few horses grazing around. It's a nice peaceful moment that I've started to look forward to.

I have reason to believe that the landowners will sell to a developer soon (they called in to tell us so, and see if we had any land surveyors on staff) so I'm appreciating it while I can. These small silver linings are all over the place if you just look for them.

On Thursday, Morgan and I went and saw this movie "The Uprising." We really enjoyed it, even if it was a bit depressing and a bit gorey. The message was good. The human spirit is within us all, and we must fight to keep it alive and unbroken. I also finished The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah this week. It was a really good book, but man does she like to kill of her female main characters.. Overall, the media I've been consuming has been about perseverance and courage, even in these rather bleak circumstances (such as the Dust Bowl, and the peasant uprising of 1381). Maybe especially in such circumstances.

On Friday, I had Morgan and Austin over for drinks and what was supposed to be music creation. Austin is working on producing some songs, and has asked me to sing on them (very complimentary). It's fun, and I like the 2 songs we've worked on so far. The problem is that both of us have social anxiety so he doesn't like to tell me what to do, and I get very nervous singing in front of people (even my boyfriend and one of my good friends). So, instead of doing music, we ended up watching music videos, which quickly morphed into playing just dance 3 till nearly 1 in the morning. It was such a blast, I have not sweat that much maybe ever. And of course, I won every single dance. But they were great sports, Morgan especially who danced far more than he initially intended to. I like him very much.

I started the night out with a dry vodka martini, which I was very hesitant about. I have only thrown up from alcohol 2 times, and one of those times was on a night that started with a dry vodka martini, so it's felt a bit taboo since then. This vodka martini did not betray me, and was in fact rather delicious. I finally coughed up the money to get one of the key ingredients, vermouth, which smoothed out the taste of vodka MUCH better than olive and pickle brine could. And of course, I added ~5 olives on a skewer, because a martini is actually just an excuse to eat as many olives as I can fit on the stick. And a couple more while making the drink too, because it's just VERY hard work.

Yesterday (Saturday), Morgan and I were able to spend our first Saturday together in a long time (besides the lovely fourth of July in California, and the Saturday spent trekking 16 miles in Wyoming). I've been taking a dental assisting course from 9-4 on Saturdays since June, and it just finished up last week. I technically have Zumba class on Saturday's, but luckily I can kind of skip whenever I want since I already have a wellness credit under my belt (thank you yoga from 2018). So I skipped it! We slept in until about 10, made delicious pancakes and eggs and bacon for breakfast. 

And then we just sort of vibed, did whatever we wanted. We read books together on the couch until we got sleepy, and then laid down for a couch nap until my roommate woke up and became noisy (serves us right for falling asleep in the living room, but also.. roommate is loud enough that it would have woken us up anywhere in the house). We went on a long walk at around 2 or 3, went on our usual path that takes you by the canal/stream. We sat under a tree by the stream and dropped leaves in to see how far they could float. When we realized leaves kept getting stuck at a particularly foliaged outcropping, we tried sticks instead. Perhaps this disturbed the natural ecosystem. My apologies. I fear the destroyed and disposed air mattress and dishwasher door directly out of frame may be doing more harm, though.

There's some people in the neighborhood who keep sheep, and I quite like to stop by there. So we continued on, and said hello to the sheep. They didn't say hi back, but we'll get there someday. At this point we were starting to get rather hot, given we were walking without shade in the hottest part of the day. We were lamenting that Labor Day had passed, and the neighborhood pool is closed when we saw people playing in the neighborhood pool which was supposed to be closed. Guess they extended swimming later in the year. Thank you (really, no thank you) climate change? So we swam for a little under an hour in the afternoon sunlight. We usually get the pool toys out and dive for them over and over. It's rather competitive. We did that once yesterday, but I was really just wanting to float and gentle paddle around. We swam the length of the pool a couple times, and called it good.

I felt so nervous that it wasn't a busy enough or exciting enough day. But honestly, it was really nice, and I think something I love so much about Morgan is that he is a comfortable day-to-day companion. He doesn't need a lot of fuss, if anything, I'm the one who really struggles to slow down sometimes. It's just nice to be around each other.

At around 6:30, we left the house and he dropped me off at the RSL game to meet up with Nathan. RSL super lost, but our seats were really close (thank you VSE), and I bought him a hat as an early birthday gift. It was a nice evening over all, and I was at home in bed and asleep before midnight. Beautiful!

I'm dealing with some pretty tough mental barriers, feeling like at some point I'd like to seek professional help and see if I might have OCD, especially ROCD. I just feel very stuck in thought patterns much of the time. I'd really like if I used my brain power to expand rather than obsess. But I'm not a mental health professional, obviously, so maybe that's not it! Just been doing some research to try and figure out what it IS. I will get through it! Like I said earlier, I am going to try and reframe the patterns and replace the mechanisms until they are helpful. And if nothing else..

Let's have a good week!